Articles
Glory! I Have Seen the Promised LandA symbolic essay.
About 1998, draconian occupational health & safety rules began to rain upon the world of Competitions. Missives sent from the great ones above, without consultation or understanding or research, intended for mere mortals to instantly obey. Can you remember those occasional days, wicked, bad, evil days when we crowded into theaterettes, 2 to a seat and child on knee? Up close and personal with people you never knew. Noisy, hot, sweaty, uncomfortable. But oh what camaraderie, what enthusiasm, what power, what magic! Now expunged forever from the lexicon of competition experience.
And so, at a Competition* in Melbourne in those early days -
“It has been my privilege to visit Heaven* many times in my latter life. During a recent visit to Heaven*, Barbara and I were amused and concerned to witness the New Gospel of Theatre Management in action. The Angels were constantly coming and going (as usual), and to avoid tripping on stairs and seats, the Archangels decreed that the Celestial Lights should remain on. Many Heavenly Sessions thus ran with us all bathed in the Light of Truth.
On the final night, the need to attain Nirvana was great. It was everyone’s expectation. St Peter was crushed by the Faithful Host pouring through the Pearly Gates. The Archangels valiantly stopped each session till all the Angels were seated. There were not quite enough seats for the Heavenly Throng. The Word was spread and more converts flocked in by the hour.
The Archangels directed the Masses to the 4 corners of the Kingdom in search of the Seats of Salvation. But Salvations were scattered and isolated, and were often held for some other Angel who had “just gone to visit the Cisterne Chapel”. Hoards of homeless Angels were flapping up and down all the aisles, searching, searching.
The Devil himself (in black) burst upon the stage, grabbed the mic from the astonished chairlady, and belching vitriol and flames, told us all to “sit down or get out!!” More Devil’s acolytes appeared and attempted to help the Archangels, but were engulfed by the Masses. They began to push the hapless Angels out the exits to Purgatory, but as fast as they cleared one section, the Angels would return through another exit. Salvations being reserved were unceremonially cancelled. Angels returning from the Chapel wailed and gnashed their teeth. There was an awful melee of feather dust, flying halos, and songs of piety and penitence. The Archangels declared they didn’t know what to do!
Somehow the Celestial Lights faded, and Heaven’s Portals opened. Peace and love fell upon us all. All around the far reaches of the Kingdom stood the Sinners, flat against the wall, wings tightly folded, shadowy figures in the dark. Not a move, not a noise, eyes glowing in the dark ignoring Gabrielle’s galling glare as Heaven unfolded. Denied Salvation, outcasts of Commandment, but stolidly partaking of their right to Nirvana.”
The Tablets of Moses are now upon our doorsteps. I fervently hope we can all work together to make our Heaven honourable, kind, and without hassles. May Heaven’s golden light shine upon you.
A. M. Cole 1998
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